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Bugbee's Popular Plays 







ram 



Closing Day at 
Beanville School 



BY 



WILLIS N. BUGBEE 



Price 25 Cents 



The Willis N. Bugbee Co 

SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



Bugbee's Popular Plays 

Closing Day at 
Beanville School 



BY 
WILLIS N. BUGBEE 



Author of "Uncle Si and the Sunbeam Club/' " Jolly 

Dialogues," "Humorous Homespun Dialogues/' 

"Lively Dialogues," "Uncle Ephraim's 

Summer Boarders," "The Patriotic 

Peanut Stand," etc., etc. 



Copyright 1915, by Willis N. Bugbee 



The Willis N. Bugbee Co. 

SYRACUSE, N. Y. 



CLOSING DAY AT BEANVILLE SCHOOL 









CHARACTERS. 




The Teacher 


(an 


older girl) 




Pupils as 


follows : 






Henry 






Albert 


Mar* 


Peter 






Silas 


Jennie 


Sammy 






George 


Anna 


Joshua 






Minnie 


Susie 



Julia 



Dottie 



Other characters may be added if desired. The part of 
Dottie may be omitted when used only for intermediate chil- 
dren. 



COSTUMES. 

The costumes should be very plain — calico and gingham dresses 
for the girls, overalls and coarse clothing for the boys. 

Chairs and benches should be arranged to represent a school- 
room. 

Any additional songs, recitations, etc., may be introduced in 
the program to suit the occasion. 

The tune, 'Tor That Is All They Know" is found in "Merry 
Melodies" (price 15 cents). "Ho! Ho! Vacation Days Are 
Here" is found in "Nonabel Songster No. 1" (price 10 cents). 
Either one will be sent prepaid by the publishers of this book. 



OCT -7 1915 

TMP92-008 



CI.D 41992 



Closing Day at Beanville School 

Scene: A school room. The children are discovered studying. 

Teacher. Well, children, you may lay aside your books. 
We will rehearse our pieces for the closing day exercises. We 
shall probably have a few visitors tomorrow so we must try to 
have them learned as well as we can. 

Sammy. Say, teacher, I know two that's coming — Miss 
Gowdy 'n' my ma. 

Peter. So's my ma comin' if she gets her bakin' done. You 
see pa don't have any work now days so all he does is eat and 
it keeps ma bakin' all the time. 

Susie. I guess my ma'll be here, too, if she gets her dress 
done. She's been turnin' her best alpaca so the rags won't show. 

Teacher. Well, never mind about telling your family af- 
fairs. I am sure they will all be welcome, and we must do our 
part to please them. 

(Sammy. I guess I'll do my part all right. Pa says I speak 
my piece just like one of them stage folks he heard down to the 
city last winter. 

Mary. Well, I guess you won't do any better'n what I do. 
My Aunt Jemima says I'd take first prize in a speakin' contest. 

Henry. Oh, gee! If there's goin' to be a prize I'll sit up all 
night and study mine. 

Teacher. Hush, children ! How can we ever rehearse our 
pieces when you keep up such a clatter. We can tell better 
after we have heard them. Peter may begin with the address 
of welcome. 

(Peter steps forward.) 

Peter. 

Dear friends and parents, everyone: 
We hate to see you here; — 

Teacher. What's that, Peter? 



4 CLOSING DAY AT BEANVILLE SCHOOL 

Peter. Pshaw, I knew I'd say it wrong. I say it that way 
even time just 'cause that's what I'm thinking about. 

Teacher. Well, you shouldn't be thinking it, then you won't 
say it. Now try again. 

Peter. 

Dear friends and parents, every one: 

We hate — I mean — 

We're glad to see you here; 
We'll try our best to please you all, 

And keep you in good cheer. 

If some one should forget his piece, 

Or, maybe, skip a verse, 
The chances are that most of you 

Would do it ten times worse. 

Teacher. What's that last, Peter? 

Peter. Oh, gee! I keep forgetting and saying it the wrong 
way. 

Teacher. Well, you must be very careful and not say it 
that way tomorrow. 

Peter. Yes, mum, I'll try and remember not to forget. 
Teacher. Now try the last verse again, Peter. 
Peter. 

If some one should forget his piece, 

Or, maybe, skip a verse, 
Just let it pass, for don't you know, 
It might be ten times worse. 

(Nods awkwardly and takes his seat.) 

Teacher. That will do very well if you only keep your wits 
about you. Next is an instrumental piece by Joshua. 

(Joshua takes place at front and plays any popular tune on 
mouth organ j comb or any other instrument.) 



.CLOSING DAY AT BEANVILLE SCHOOL 



Joshua (stops playing). Please, ma'am, do I have to look 
toward the audience? 

Teacher. Why, of course, Joshua. Why shouldn't you? 

Joshua. 'Cause Henry Whipple keeps makin' me snicker. 

Teacher. Henry, if you don't behave yourself, I shall make 
you come and sit beside of me. Do you hear ? 

Henry. Well, I can't help it 'cause he looks just like pa 
does when he has the toothache. 

Teacher. Go on, Joshua, and if Henry bothers you again 
I'll give him something he isn't bargaining for. 

(JOSHUA finishes the tune, then takes his seat.) 

Teacher. Next will be Sammy Spinks' recitation. Now 
speak up good and loud, Sammy. 

Sammy. Yes, mum, I'll do the best I can. I've got a bad 
cold though. Caught it goin' in swimmin' yesterday with Dan 
Brooks. 

Teacher. Never mind how you caught it. Go on and speak 
your piece. 

Sammy. Yes, mum. {Recites.) 

Vacation Time. 
I'm glad vacation's come at last, 

An' lessons all are done; 
I've put my school-books all away, 

An' now, hurrah for fun! — 
For pickin' berries in the woods, 

An' swimmin' in the pool, 
For catchin' frogs an' fishin', too — 

Oh ho, good-bye to school! 

I've been to school for 'bout a year, 

I think that's 'most enough; 
My head's as full of knowledge now — 

As full as it will stuff, 



6 CLOSING DAY AT BEANVILLE SCHOOL 

'Till everything's all muddled up — 

I guess I've learned too much 
Of history and 'rifmetic, 

An' gogerfy an' such. 

My ma she read a story once — 

Not very long ago, 
About a boy that went to school, 

The same as me, you know, 
An' studied till it turned his brain 

As crazy as a loon, — 
An' gee! I think I'd better quit 

Or I'll get that way soon. 

(He makes awkward bow and takes seat.) 

Henry. My pa knew a man that did really get crazy from 
studyin' an' thought he was king of the Fiji islands. 

Mary. Well, I heard of a girl once that got blind from 
studying too much, and that's no joke either. 

Teacher. I don't think there's any danger of any of you 
ever getting crazy or of losing your sight from over-study, so 
you don't need to worry about that. Next is a dialogue "When 
I'm a Man." 

(Henry, Joshua, Albert, Silas and George take places 
at front and recite.) 

Henry. 

When I'm a man like popper is, 

I'm going to be a baker, 
The punkin pies that I shall make 

Will cover half an acre ; ■ 
My cookies will be 'most as big 

As grandma's pancake griddle; 
My tarts as big as wagon wheels 

With jelly in the middle. 



CLOSING DAY AT BEANVILLE SCHOOL 

Joshua. 

When I'm a man — a grown-up man, 

I'll be a candy-maker, 
And have a shop ten stones high, 

Next door beside the baker, 
And every day or twice a day 

I'll make a ton of candy, 
Of chocolates and caramels 

And Jackson balls so dandy. , 

Albert. 

When I'm a man, so big and strong, 

I'll be a jolly sailor — 
A captain of a tug of war, 

A submarine or whaler; 
I'll sail upon the ocean blue, 

In every kind of weather, 
And jolly times we'll have, yo ho! 

My crew and I together. 



Silas. 



George. 



When I'm a man 'most six feet tall, 

I'm going to be a barber; 
I'll build a shop all for myself 

'Way down in Boston harbor. 
And when the ships come into port, 

You'll hear the sailors holler; 
I'll cut their hair and shave 'em, too, 

For only half a dollar. 

When I'm a man, a great big man, 

I guess I'll be a tailor, 
And make all sorts of nobby clothes 

For the baker and the sailor. 

(To audience.) 

And if you, too, would like a suit, 

I'll try to fit your measure; 



CLOSING DAY AT BEANVILLE SCHOOL 

I'll make them in the latest style, 
For business or for pleasure. 

All. 

When we are men and wear long pants, 

We're going to do some wonders; 
We'll each one try to make our mark, 

And maybe make some blunders. 
No matter what our trades may be — 

On land or on the ocean — 
You'll always find the saying true: 

"Each person to his notion." 

(All pass awkwardly to seats.) 

Minnie. Say, teacher, I know what I'm going to be when 
I get to be a man — 

Several. A man ? Ho ! ho ! ho ! When she gets to be a man ! 

Minnie. I mean when I get to be a woman. I'm going to 
be a school teacher. I bet I'll make the kids mind. 

Peter. I'm going to be a banker, then I can handle bushels 
of money. 

Teacher. Well, you've got plenty of time to think about it. 
We can't stop to discuss it now. Next is a recitation by Mary. 

( This may be a costume recitation or not, as desired. The 
costume should consist of an old-fashioned dress worn over a 
hoop-skirt. In such case Mary may raise her hand just previous 
to the boys' dialogue, and at the signal from the teacher leaves 
the room. This will give time for the change.) L 

Mary (recites). 

When Aunt Melinda' Went to School. 

When Aunt Melinda Wigglesworth 

Was young and went to school, 
She says she had to "ante-round" 

And mind the teacher's rule. 



CLOSING DAY AT BEANVILLE SCHOOL 9 

• 
I guess they had the funniest ways 

That ever you did see, 
And one of the things that puzzled them 

Was the funny "rule of three." 

They sat on benches made of wood, 

With backs straight up and down, 
{Indicates shape of desk with hand.) 
And the old box-stove they had to use 

Would almost bake you brown. 
And every day they toed the crack 

When they stood up to spell, 
{Motion of toeing crack.) 
Oh, dear! The funniest things they did, 

I couldn't begin to tell. 

The girls all wore their skirts like this, 
{Stretches skirt out on each side.) 

With hoop-skirts big and wide, 
Like pictures in the picture books 

That bulge out on each side. 
But lots of fun they used to have, 

My Aunt Melinda says, 
When she was 5'oung and went to school — 

But my! What funny ways! 

{A courtesy may be made, if desired, as she takes seat.) 

Silas. Say, teacher, I guess if they wore dresses big as that 
now days we'd have to* have an addition built on the school 
house, wouldn't we? 

George. Well, I should say it was a funny way to keep 
school. 

Teacher. Next is a song by Minnie, Susie and Julia. 
{Girls step to front and sing to tune of "For That Is All 
They Know.") 



10 CLOSING DAY AT BEANVILLE SCHOOL 



Minnie. 

Our teacher asked us all one day 

What study we liked best, * 

And I, of course, chose history 

Ahead of all the rest, 
Because I know the dates so well, 
Which I can prove to you. 
Susie and Julia. 

Then tell us when the Pilgrims came. 
Minnie. 

In fourteen-ninety-two. 
(Susie and Julia laugh and continue to giggle as they sing 
the chorus.) 

Chorus. 
In fourteen-ninety-two, 

In fourteen-ninety-two, 
She says the Pilgrims landed here 
In fourteen-ninety-two. 
Susie {singing). 

And when she asked which one I liked, 

I said "Arithmetic." 
I know my tables all by heart 
And do my sums so quick, — 
There's six times six is thirty-six, 
That's easy 'nough to do, — 
Minnie and Julia. 

But nine times nine, please tell us that. 
Susie (counting on fingers). 

I — I guess it's sixty-two. 

(Minnie and Julia giggle as they sing chorus.) 
She says it's sixty-two, 

She says it's sixty-two, 
She knows her tables all by heart, 

But says it's sixty-two. 



CLOSING DAY AT BEANVILLE SCHOOL 

Tulia (singing). , 

And when it came my turn to choose, 

I chose geography, 
Because I know where all the states 
And where the cities be. 

Minnie and Susie. 

Then tell us where is Vera Cruz. 

JULIA, f TVT • 

Upon the coast of Maine. 

Minnie and Susie. _ T . k . iphl? 

And where, oh where, is Timbuctu f 

Julia. . . 

The capital of Spain. 

(Minnie aw/ Susie giggle as before.) 
The capital of Spain, 

The capital of Spain, 
She says— ho! ho! that Timbuctu 
Is capital of Spain. 
(They take seats.) ,. 

Anna. I think that's an awful silly piece 'cause anybody d 
know the Pilgrims didn't come over with Columbus. 
' Mary. Or that Vera Cruz isn't in Maine, either. 
Tennie. Or that nine time nine isn't— 
Teacher. Well, do be quiet, children, or well never get 
through. Anna may read her composition next. 
(Anna steps forward, unfolds paper and reads) : 

Vacations. 
I think vacations are just splendid-next to Christmas and 
Thanksgiving and Fourth of July. All the trouble is they don 
IrToften enough. My pa says vacations are so folks caij g 
the kinks straightened outer their brains 1 guess Uncie 
Charlev's brain must be awful kinky 'cause he ain't had a vaca- 
riont 17 years, but there's Mr. Podger that lives near us, he s 



12 CLOSING DAY AT BEANVILLE SCHOOL 

been having vacation ever since I can remember, and pa says he 
was having vacation when he was a boy. Last vacation I went 
down to my grandpa's and staid 'most all summer and if ma'll 
let me I'm going again this year. We had lots of fun — Johnny 
Brown and me. You see, Johnny's a little boy that lives on a 
farm next to grandpa's. 

Henry. Ho! ho! That's why she goes to her grandpa's — to 
see Johnny Brown. 

Anna. 'Tain't neither — so there! 

Teacher. Henry, I want you should keep still and let 
Anna finish her composition. 

Anna {reading). We used to feed the chickens and ducks 
and turkeys and gooses, and we used to ride on the loads of hay, 
and once Johnny fell off and hit on his funny bone, but it wasn't 
so funny 'cause he couldn't use it again for most three days. 
Then sometimes we picked huckleberries and gooseberries, but 
the gooseberries didn't grow on the gooses. They growed on 
bushes. I couldn't begin to tell all the nice things we did, but 
if anybody wants to spend a perfectly lovely vacation let them 
go to their grandpa's. That's all. {Takes seat.) 

Mary. Well, I haven't got any grandpa, but I'm going to 
my Aunt Hattie's, over to Greenville and — 

Susie. And I'm going to my big sister's. She got the cutest 
little baby — and just think — I'm its aunt! Isn't that funny? 

Julia. Well, you needn't think you're going to have all 
the fun 'cause — 

Teacher. Children, do keep still. How do you think we 
can go on with this program with so much clatter. Dottie, you 
may speak your piece now. 

Dottie {recites) : 

I am a tiny little girl, 

Just five years old, you see; 
I love to ride to Boston town 
Upon my papa's knee; 



CLOSING DAY AT BEANVILLE SCHOOL 13 

I love to help my mamma cook 

And bake and everything; 
I love to make the music go, 

And then I love to sing. 

(Sings stanza of any child song.) 

I love to go to school, I do, 

And learn my A-B-C's, 
And if you think I do not know, 

Just listen to me, please. 

(Speaks quickly accenting capitals.) 
A, b, C, d, E, f, G; 

H, i, J, k, L, m, N, o, P; 
Q, r, S, t, U and V; 

Double u and X and Y and Z. 

There! (Points triumphantly to audience and skips to seat.) 
Silas. Say, teacher, I know a piece my Uncle Jim teached 
me. 

Teacher. Very well, you may speak it and we'll see what 
it is. 

Silas (recites) : 

Onae there was a man that lived. 

Beside a marshy pool, 
And every night the frogs would come" 
And hold their singing school. 

The bull frog was the leader bold ; 
H,e'd give the note, "Cra-donk!" 
(in coarse voice.) 
Then all the other frogs would join, 
"Cra-donk! Cra-donk! Cra-donk!" 
(in finer voice.) 

They kept it up all summer long, 
From early spring till fall, 



14 CLOSING DAY AT BEANVILLE SCHOOL 

Till everyone had learned their notes, 
The big frogs and the small. 

And every night that man would sit / 1 

And hear the froggies croak, 
And then he'd vow unto himself 

That every frog he'd choke. 

And day by day he madder grew, 

Till in his sore vexation, 
He'd often say, "You pesky fools, 

Why don't you take vacation?" 

Henry. Ho! ho! ho! The frogs take a vacation! 

Teacher. Jennie may now give the closing address. You 
may read it if you haven't it all learned. 

Jennie. Oh, I've got it learned all right. I sat up till half 
past nine last night a~learnin' of it. 

Teacher. Very well, you may go ahead. 

Jennie {going to front). 

Dear Friends and Feller Citizens: We've — 

Teacher. Why, Jennie! That isn't right. 

Jennie. Oh, dear ! I hope I won't forget tomorrow. 

Dear Friends and Parents: We've enjoyed your pres- 
ence here very much today and we've tried to do the very best 
we could to entertain you. We notice that nobody got up and 
went home and nobody went to sleep, so we think we've done 
pretty well. We're glad it's all over with 'cause now we're 
going to have a good long vacation and we hope you will all 
have just as pleasant a one as we expect to have. Good-bye. 

Silae. Gee! She spoke it right off just as if she was makin' 
it up as she went along — "Johnny on the spot." 



CLOSING DAY AT BEANVILLE SCHOOL 15 

Teacher. Well, children, I think you've all done first-rate 
and I hope you will do as well tomorrow. We will all sing the 
closing song now. 

(Any appropriate song may be used, such as "Hoi Ho! Vaca- 
tion Days Are Here!" etc.) 

Curtain 



i..™£ RY 0F CONGRESS 



III 



016 102 545 8 § 



